


Even When I'm Sleeping

by badjujuboo (miztrezboo)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 14:17:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1608176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miztrezboo/pseuds/badjujuboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He really should never have told Liam that he liked to be cuddled when he was sick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even When I'm Sleeping

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrsyt31](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsyt31/gifts).



> incredibly self indulgent owie sick fic because Erin wanted a reward for cleaning and i'm home sick.
> 
> without a liam.
> 
> unfair tbh.
> 
> unbeta'd because. sick.

Louis' trying hard not to swallow. His throat feels like there's razor blades inside it and his head still hurts even though he's taken possibly double the dosage reccomended on the packet. 

He just wants to _sleep_ and he might have seen this episode of Homeland before, but he still wants to see the end. Everything aches as he snuggles further into the sofa, ever so glad he dragged his duvet down the stairs when he staggered down when he first woke up. He could barely make the call to Ben to let him know he wouldn't be in for the day. Deciding that he didn't want to lie around in bed and a desire to be closer to the kettle for tea had him up and moving - albeit slowly - at six and now it was midday and he really should make the return trip.

His bed was _all the way_ upstairs, though and the sofa was mostly comfortable, apart from the dip in the middle. He really _should_ invest in a new one, but it had. . . well it had sentimental value.

Who could blame him if he kept some of the things he and Liam had bought together? It wasn't Liam's fault that Louis couldn't control his heart. It wasn't Liam's fault that Louis had gone and fallen in love with him, fully knowing that Liam had a girlfriend - a sucession of them, really - and never showed a sign that he might swing the other way. 

Louis should have known better than to fall for his straighter than an arrow flatmate. He should have known not to let his mind and heart wander, collecting crinkle eyed smiles and soft touches like they meant more than they did. He shouldn't have let himself think it meant _something_ , when Liam started grabbing _Louis_ for a hug and not freezing up if Louis touched his shoulder for too long. He should have stamped down on the way his heart would beat extra fast, a flush creeping across his skin when Liam walked in the door after a particularly long day and just _looked_ at Louis with such fondness Louis could almost feel the warmth of it wrapping around him.

He should definitely have been over it by now.

Liam had moved out with Sophia six months ago, and Louis had successfully started seperating himself from Liam's life. He changed jobs so Liam didn't have to check that Louis had enough food anymore now that he had a permanent position teaching at a local school. He started taking up Harry's offers to go out on weekends instead of holing himself up in the house watching. . . well, watching reruns of Homeland like he was now. 

Liam was happy Louis had a social life, he was happy that Louis had a steady income and that the flat they'd shared - that Louis _loved_ \- Louis was going to be able to keep, even without Liam living there. 

So Liam called less, and Louis pretended that he felt less, and it was a good outcome for everyone.

Until Louis had to go and catch a bloody cold, which he was fairly certain he'd caught from Harry by snogging him the other night. It wasn't as if he had any interest in Harry - they'd already had their intense year of fucking each other's brains out in college - but Harry was a mate and he was trying to get this Nick fellow jealous so Louis helped out.

It worked. Harry went home with Nick and Louis ended up in the bathroom getting a blowjob from some pretty bloke with brown eyes that did _not_ remind him of anyone. 

Then Harry had called him yesterday and sounded bloody awful, apart from how he was crowing that Nick was great in bed. The fact that Harry was _still_ in Nick's bed while the other bloke attempted to make him soup just added to how miserable and alone Louis now felt. 

Where was someone to make him soup or a bloody cuppa? Who was going to check his temperature and run him a bath, or even just give him a bloody cuddle?

He'd _kill_ for a cuddle right now. Someone to hold him tight and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Someone to brush the ridiculously long fringe he'd let grow due to a bet with Harry on who could grow it the longest and still pull fit blokes.

Not that there would be much of a game of that now that Harry sounded like he was off the market.

Pity. Louis didn't mind wearing the headband he'd stole from his sister last time he was home. He really loved the head massages the girls at Lou's salon would give him when they washed his hair whenever he went in for a trim. Compliments on how soft it was were a bit of an upper on days when Liam would send him a text or bloody snapchat of he and Sophia's dog.

Louis would have let him get a dog. They could have lived somewhere else with a yard enough for one.

Even if Louis was more of a cat person himself.

He would have done anything for Liam, if he had of asked.

And really, that was the problem. 

Louis shouldn't have wanted to do any of that. Not when Liam was so, so utterly out of reach. He'd never give back an ounce of what Louis felt. Louis really should have known he wouldn't. He should have never let himself fall as hard as he had done. 

Something crashes on screen and Louis yawns and maybe now is the best time to have a nap, to curl up and feel sorry for himself a little bit more. Maybe when he wakes up, more of his stupid feelings for Liam will be gone. If not, he might sleep some of this cold off and that would be enough.

. . .

When he wakes later it's because he can hear someone talking in the house. He doesn't open his eyes because he figures it's just the TV. He did put the dvd on repeat all, because he didn't want to get up and it was a few episodes he favored. It's when he feels his blanket shift and someone slide in behind him that he does open his eyes, only to close them again when he realises who's snuck in.

"You'll get sick," he says through a cough and Liam's arm slips around his waist, holding him close through it.

"Don't think so, I had one of those shots and I eat healthier than you do. Don't think I didn't see the takeout containers in the bin and on the bench when I came in," Liam says, his breath cool on Louis' overheated skin. His lips follow and Louis shivers, not only because even Liam's lips are cold on his neck but because Liam's _lips_ are on his _neck_.

He really should never have told Liam that he liked to be cuddled when he was sick.

Louis is proud of the fact he can look after himself. He's miles away from home and his mum could be a phone call away but he can do things by himself. He can learn to make food and he can learn to pay his bills mostly on time and he can take care of his heart. Mostly.

But when it comes to being sick, he doesn't mind having someone to brush his hair from his forehead and bring him a cup of tea or just. . . hold him.

Liam knows that. Liam's known it since the third week they lived together when Louis ended up with the flu. Louis became a sort of koala, lumping himself all whiny and clingy on an unsuspecting Liam on the very sofa they're now lying on. Liam got used to it, his caring instincts that made him such a good nurse in the children's ward taking over. Liam looked after Louis until he was right as rain once more.

Liam doesn't live here anymore though, so it's a little strange for Louis to wake up and be in Liam's arms.

"How'd you-"

"-get here?" Liam asks, rubbing soft circles over Louis' belly that make Louis feel sleepy but also warm and safe. "I still have my key don't I, and Harry rung. Said you would probably be feeling poorly and when I called Zayn he said you'd called in sick at work." Liam's pushing his hand under Louis' side, shifting Louis about until he's basically got one arm wrapped around Louis' middle and the other free to comb his fingers through Louis' hair. 

Bloody Zayn. The worst thing Louis possibly did was befriend the newest recruit to the English Department. He thought it was a good idea at the time, Louis and Zayn being the few under thirty at the school who actually enjoyed their jobs. It was. . . to an extent. Zayn had this quiet way about him that Louis always ended up filling with talk and admitting to his ridiculous one sided crush on Liam might have come up that way in the first place. It was only after that, when he would go on, and on about Liam and the lovely things he'd done or said, or the way he looked when he stepped into Louis' room one morning, in nothing but a towel wanting to know if it were alright if he borrowed a razor. . . that might have been Louis' downfall. Zayn was of the opinion that Liam might be up for it, that he wouldn't do some of the things he did or say some of the things he said whilst drunk _or_ sober, without having at least _thought_ about what it might be like to be with a boy. To be with Louis.

Louis thought he was nuts and when three months after Liam and Danielle went up in flames, Liam was with Sophia and Louis was - yet again - all alone.

Then things had gotten serious and Liam moved out and Louis didn't even have Liam at home anymore.

Which is why it's surprising that Liam is here now.

"I know how you hate being alone when you're sick and I had the day off so," Liam says, his fingertips sliding between Louis where he was tapping them against the side of the sofa. 

Louis closes his eyes tighter, tries not to feel as good as he does with Liam knowing things like this about him. That Liam would give up his day off just to come over and make Louis feel good. He has to ignore how good it feels because this is just what Liam does. He's a caretaker. A warm fuzzies giver. 

There's nothing to read into this at all.

"Have you taken anything? I brought over some echineacea, garlic and ginger tablets that Niall said you'd need. He recommended you drink a lot of water with some lemon or lime, too, as well as taking some vitamin C every hour."

Louis whines because he isn't the biggest fan of tablets and he knows what size the ones that Niall will have sent over will be like. It's great having Niall for a mate when it's going out to the pub for a pint, but one sneeze or a cough and the alternative medicine therapist comes out and he'll be shoving B12 and St John's Wort and all manner of vitamins down your throat. 

Liam chuckles, pulling Louis in closer, pressing his lips to the side of Louis' brow. "He said to buck up and take them because you're not a child anymore. But he also said if you refused to take them I had to crush them into your tea which I know you'd be less than happy about,"

Louis huffs, leaning back into Liam's arms and squeezing their joined hands together. "No one messes about with my tea, I'll take them if I have to, but my throat is really sore,"

"I'll crush them up in some honey then, you're throat won't mind and Niall never need know,"

Louis grins and pulls their hands up over his chest, kissing Liam's knuckles. It's a bit too intimate for friends to do, but he can blame it on being delirious.

Even if he isn't.

He sighs as Liam continues his light touch over Louis' skin, his hand's shifted back to Louis' hip now and through the thin joggers Louis is wearing, he can feel it like a brand. It's nice though. Nice being touched. Nice being held. Nice just having _someone_ even though he doesn't have Liam at all.

"Louis," Liam says after a while, when the only sound is the voices arguing on the telly and their breaths between them, intermingled with a few sniffles from Louis and the odd cough.

"Yeah?" Louis says softly, and not just because his throat hurts. He's starting to feel tired again which is probably because of how warm having Liam wrapped around him as much as the duvet was, makes him feel. 

"You know I -," he stops, cutting himself off and Louis freezes because that sentence could end any way and the way Liam's holding him and is _here_ makes Louis think things he shouldn't.

Liam sighs and kisses the curve of Louis' shoulder where his shirt - which was probably Liam's being that it's not fitting Louis that well at all - has fallen down. "Nothing. Don't worry about it,"

Louis wants to prod, wants to pry a little but he yawns instead and lets the soothing touch of Liam's hand at his hip and the one joined with his own lull him to sleep instead.

If, when he's nearly out of it, everything slow and steady as Liam's heartbeat at his back, he hears Liam's voice. It's probably due to the drugs. Nothing else at all.

"Was going to say I love you, Lou. Was going to tell you I'd do anything for you, anything at all."

Louis' glad when darkness drags him under because at least there, in the land of dreams, he can pretend that Liam means those words in all the ways that Louis wants him to. That anything could be everything and Louis wouldn't have to be alone anymore.


End file.
